D.I.Y. Shrink List.

If we are to believe this last report published by MIT Press, economic collapse is just around the corner. If that’s true it won’t hurt to prepare our children both mentally and physically for a world in which there will be a lot less of everything.  A decrease in height of only 10% already lowers your caloric needs by 27% (0.9 x 0.9 x 0.9). A 20% decrease in height almost halves your needs (0.8 x 0.8 x 0.8). It accidentally also significantly lowers your child’s environmental footprint, which in the end could help curb the doomsday scenario before it even starts. Height is determined  by what we eat for up to 15%. Providing a diet with too much dairy, too much protein, and too much sugar immediately affects the future caloric needs and environmental footprint of your child. Here’s a list of things you can do yourself to keep the length of your child under control.

1. Mind what you eat. Food is responsible for 10 to 15% of unnecessary and harmful extra growth. Milk products (especially cheese which stimulates growth hormone production), Meat (because of its overdosage of protein), Sugar (easy energy). The intake of moderate amounts of these nutrients would already stop the overstimulation of our endocrinological growth engines.

2. Look for a short partner. It would be much better, and a relatively fast way to stop the global length growth of the human population if women look towards smaller men if they want children. Not only will their children live longer and healthier lives, it also helps safe the planet.

3. Move to a warm climate. It’s a fact that people in warm climates are smaller. The higher metabolic rate inspired by higher temperatures leaves you with less surplus calories to grow tall. You also don’t need a larger body mass to stay warm.

4. Embryo Screening:  Future parents can screen their baby for size, and opt for the not so tall. Again, chances are they’ll live longer healthier lives.

5. Hormone treatment: Perhaps it shouldn’t feature on this D.I.Y. list but Somatostatin is a drug to suppress the growth in people with acromegaly. The use of this medecin on a normal tall person has not been tried but it might become worth considering administrating very small (safe) dosages of this substance to control growth.