Randy’s Short People

If we are to shrink ourselves, overcoming prejudice against smallness will be a first priority. Randy Newman wrote Small People in 1977 as a parody of the absurdity of human prejudice and discrimination. But did it work?

Lyrics:

Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason to live.

They got little hands,
Little eyes,
They walk around tellin’ great big lies.

They got little noses,
Tiny little teeth,
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet.

Well I don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people ’round here.

(Short people are just the same as you and I.)
A fool such as I. (All men are brothers until the day they die.)
It’s a wonderful world.

Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody to love

They got little baby legs
They stand so low
You got to pick ’em up
Just to say hello.

They got little cars
That go beep beep beep.
They got little voices
Goin’ peep peep peep.

They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds.
They’re gonna get you
Every time.

Well I don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people ’round here.